I give up
I give up
I give up being held back
I give up tensing every muscle all day
I give up being tired
I give up being afraid
I give up worrying
I give up planning
For everything to go wrong
I give up that feeling of churning in my stomach
I give up acid reflux
I give up rules
I give up schedules
I give up telling myself I’m not good enough every day
I give up my dreams
Because I know they’ll come back to me
What is meant for me will find me
I give up stealing
And hoarding
And saving for later
As if I want a future of lack that depends on me being perfect now
I give up waiting
For something better to come along
I give up thinking nothing better will come along
I give up screaming only on the inside
I give up picking the perfect times on the microwave for max food heating/time efficiency
I give up turning off the lights when I leave a room
I give up burning the most calories
I give up the perfect workout routine
I give up optimal protein intake
I give up scheduled grocery shopping
And morning routines
And lean into maybe chaos is beautiful and perfect too
Maybe there’s fractals in my life
When I’m left to my most natural state
It all turns out even better and more mathematical than I could’ve ever createdÂ
Maybe I have everything to give
When I am unleashed
When I really let go
And let everything run crazy
Maybe I’m not a fuck-up
Maybe I am perfect already
Maybe I’m more beautiful than even I could imagine in all my romanticized daydreams
Maybe there is nothing to fight
Maybe I’m the only one holding me back
Maybe it’s all mine for the holding